Supplemental · 7 Sessions · 90 Minutes Each
A.C.O.D.
Discovering what isn't yours to carry.
What's In Your Way Coaching · Adult Children of Divorce
Judith Wallerstein spent 25 years following the same group of children of divorce into adulthood. Her most significant finding wasn't what happened to them as kids. It was what happened when they fell in love.
What The Research Found
That's when the weight of it surfaced. The fear that their relationships were destined to fail. The waiting for things to fall apart even when everything was going well. The conflict avoidance. The loyalty they were never asked to put down. The template for love that was either absent or distorted — and that they had been quietly trying to invent on their own ever since.
If you grew up in a home shaped by divorce, you didn't just lose a family structure. You absorbed a set of beliefs about love, commitment, and whether relationships are safe — beliefs so early and so deep that most people don't realize they're running them.
This supplemental is designed to bring them into the light.
What You May Have Absorbed Without Knowing It
The patterns don't always announce themselves. They show up quietly — in how you love, how you leave, how you wait for things to fall apart.
— The fear that your relationships are destined to fail — even when everything is going well
— A template for love that was either absent or distorted — one you've been quietly trying to invent on your own
—A loyalty that was placed on you as a child — and that was never yours to hold
—A habit of conflict avoidance — and the cost of everything that went unsaid because of it
—The sleeper effect — patterns that were quiet in childhood and only surfaced when real love was at stake
This work is for you if —
— You grew up in a home shaped by divorce and you recognize its patterns in your adult relationships — even if you've never fully named them
— You find yourself waiting for good things to fall apart — bracing against joy, testing relationships, pulling back before you can be hurt
—You avoid conflict at almost any cost — and important things go unsaid as a result
—You have been carrying emotional weight that was placed on you as a child and that was never yours to hold
—You are ready to understand that your parents' story is not your story — and that their marriage is not a prophecy about yours
What Working Together Looks Like -
Seven sessions across seven weeks — 90 minutes each. Moving through the arc of what you grew up in, what you were asked to carry, and what you get to put down.
Session 1
What you grew up in — naming the environment and what it asked of you
Session 2
The sleeper effect — how childhood patterns surface when adult love is at stake
Session 3
The missing template — the blueprint for love that was absent or distorted, and what you built in its place
Session 4
The fear cluster — the bracing, the testing, the waiting for things to fall apart
Session 5
Loyalty conflicts and family roles — the weight that was placed on you and never collected
Session 6
The strengths the experience built — what it gave you, even in the wreckage
Session 7
The conscious, named decision to put down what was never yours to carry in the first place
From Here
A.C.O.D. bridges directly into the Connection to Self ~ Connection to Others core course — because the patterns this work surfaces are exactly what the core course is built to address.
Your parents' story is not your story. Their marriage is not a prophecy about yours.
What you do with what you inherited — that is entirely, beautifully yours.
If something landed —