Individual · 44 Sessions · One Hour Each
Connection to Self
~ Connection to Others
What's In Your Way Coaching · Flagship Individual Course
The depth of our connection to ourselves reveals the depth of connection we can build with others. This is where that work begins.
Before You Read Any Further
Think about where you are right now — not in your career, not in your living situation, not in the logistics of your daily life. In yourself. In your relationships. In the quality of the connection you have to who you really are.
Now think about the last relationship that mattered to you. Or the one you're in right now. Or the one you keep trying to build but can't quite get to where you want it to be.
How much of yourself did you bring into that relationship? Not the edited version. Not the performed version. How much of the real, unguarded, fully known you showed up?
If the answer gives you pause — keep reading.
The question this work is built around
Imagine what it would be like to encounter this work for the first time when you're already inside a relationship. Not here. Not now. Not before. You're a year in. Two years. Five. Maybe ten.
And for the first time — because a moment forced it, because a fight surfaced it, because a silence stretched too long — you're realizing that you don't really know yourself the way this relationship is now asking you to.
You're realizing that you have difficulty regulating your emotions — and you don't know where that comes from or why. You're realizing that you don't really know how to listen. That you don't fully know who you are outside of this relationship. That you don't know what you really want — or why you wanted this person beyond the feeling of the beginning.
And now you have to figure all of that out. Inside a relationship. With someone else watching. With the clock running. With the bond already built and already at stake.
That is a different conversation entirely. And it is a harder one. This work exists so that conversation doesn't have to be the first one you have with yourself.
What This Is — And What It Isn't
This Is Not
— A dating course or a how-to guide
— A list of things to do and say
— A shortcut to finding the right person
— Advice on how to attract someone
— A program focused on the relationship itself
This Is
— A deep, honest reckoning with who you are
— An examination of what shaped you and how
— The interior work that makes everything else possible
— A foundation built before you need it
— The most important relationship you'll ever work on — the one with yourself
There are plenty of resources out there for the relationship itself. Good ones. Many of them are excellent. This isn't that. This is the work that happens before — and that makes all of that more possible.
What You'll Move Through
You'll look honestly at your attachment style and how it was formed. You'll examine the patterns in your relationships and trace them back to where they began. You'll learn what your triggers are really about — and what they've been trying to tell you.
You'll do the work of self-compassion and reparenting that most often gets bypassed because it can be quite difficult to find your way to it. You'll learn what boundaries actually are — not rules you enforce, but a natural expression of who you authentically are.
You'll learn what it means to communicate from a place of genuine worthiness rather than from a need to earn your place. You'll learn how to listen — really listen — in a way that changes what another person is capable of sharing with you.
And then — only then — you'll turn outward. Toward another person. Toward what it actually means to build something with someone, to sustain it, to let it grow.
The work moves from the inside out. Always. That is the whole philosophy.
This work is for you if —
— You keep finding yourself in the same kind of relationship, with different people, wondering why
— You know something needs to change but you're not sure where to start — or even what the question is
— You want a relationship — a real one, a lasting one — and you sense that the work starts with you, not with finding the right person
— You're in a relationship right now and you want to show up in it more fully, more honestly, more like who you really are
— You're tired of knowing things about yourself that don't seem to change anything — and you're ready to understand why
— You've never really been asked the questions this work asks — and something in you knows it's time
What People Find On The Other Side Of This Work
— A deeper, quieter confidence — not the kind that comes from ego or performance, but the kind that comes from genuinely knowing yourself and what you're grounded in
— A level of self-assurance that doesn't depend on how you're received by someone else — because you've learned how to receive yourself
— The ability to feel safer in your own body — to know what you're feeling, where it comes from, and what to do with it
— Clarity about what you really want and why — not the surface answer, the real one
— The knowledge that feelings don't last forever — including the hard ones — and that you have what it takes to come back to yourself from any of them
—A relationship with yourself that makes every other relationship more possible — more honest, more connected, more real
The Cost Of Leaving This On The Table
To not do this work is not neutral. It has a cost.
It costs you the love you could be giving yourself right now — the love that has always been available to you, that you've always deserved.
When you know what you need to feel loved — really know it — something shifts in every relationship you're in. You stop flying blind. And so do the people who are trying to love you. Because now there's a road map. Not a guarantee, not a formula — a road map. What it looks like to show up for you. What it sounds like when you're received. What it feels like when love actually lands.
Without that, the people who care about you are doing their best with their best guess. And so are you when you try to love them back. Core needs identified is the beginning of that changing — for you, and for everyone you let close.
You cannot give what you haven't received. You cannot offer what you haven't built.
To not identify and cultivate your core needs is to leave love for yourself on the table. And that love weighs a million pounds. More than that. It's the weight of the world.
You've always had the choice to do this. You just may not have known that until now.
What Working Together Looks Like
This is a one-on-one coaching relationship — just you and me, in an hour-long session each week, moving through a structured curriculum built from the most important research and frameworks in relationships, emotional intelligence, attachment theory, and self-compassion. We'll go at the pace the work requires.
We review your completed Relationship Ready intake together. The questions you answered on your own before we ever met become the starting point for understanding where you are and where the work needs to go.
Session 1A
Session 1B
We move through the Getting to Know You general intake together — a full conversation about who you are, where you've been, your emotional history, your relationship history, and what you're bringing into this work.
Session 2-41
The full curriculum. Eight modules plus a mindfulness track — moving from the deepest interior work inward, all the way outward into what it means to build and sustain genuine connection with another person.
Session 42
The Relationship Manifesto. You'll arrive having written a declaration of who you've become and what you're choosing to build from here. We read it together. We return to your Relationship Ready intake. The distance between what you wrote then and what you've written now is the evidence of everything that happened in between.
Before our first session, you'll complete the Relationship Ready intake on your own — a set of honest questions designed to help us both assess where you genuinely are. It is not a test. It is the first honest conversation you'll have with yourself before we have ours.
This work is for anyone willing to show up for it.
The only requirement is honesty —
with yourself, first.
Everything else follows from there.
If something landed —
mattp@whatsinyourwaycs.com