What's In Your Way Coaching
Frequently Asked Questions
Honest answers to the questions worth asking before we begin.
What is relationship coaching and how is it different from therapy?
Therapy is the untangling of our issues over a duration. A good therapist helps you understand where your patterns come from, what shaped you, and why you do what you do. That is necessary, important work — and it takes real strength and courage to show up for it.
But insight alone doesn't always close the gap. Insight without action is only information. You can understand something fully — intellectually, emotionally — and still find yourself standing at the edge of it. Knowing what needs to change and actually changing it are two different things. Taking what you've learned about yourself and putting it to work in your life — in your relationships, in the way you show up, in the way you receive and offer love — that's the harder part. That's where most people get stuck. And that's where this work begins.
Relationship coaching is the rebuilding. Not a replacement for therapy — a complement to it. For some people it runs alongside their therapeutic work. For others it's the natural next step after it. Either way, the work is the same: taking what you know about yourself and doing something intentional with it.
This practice is designed with that distinction in mind. I'm a coach, not a clinician. I'm not here to diagnose, treat, or untangle. I'm here to help you rebuild — using the strength you already have, which brought you here in the first place.
What are your credentials and background?
I hold a Relationship Coaching Certification from IAP Career College. I'm a coach — not a clinician — and that distinction is one I hold with full honesty.
My background in coaching spans nearly two decades — working with athletes from the youth level through Division I collegiate competition. That experience shaped how I approach this work in ways that are direct and real. Coaching is coaching. You meet people where they are. You build from what's already working. You ask the questions that get to what actually matters. You don't project the outcome onto the person in front of you — you coach the individual, wherever they come in.
That orientation is what brought me to relationship coaching and it's what guides how I practice it. The credential is new. The coaching isn't.
What kinds of situations are you equipped to work with?
This work is for people who are ready to look honestly at themselves — their patterns, their needs, their relationship with who they are — and do something intentional with what they find. Individuals doing interior work. Couples building or tending to something together. Parents navigating what this season is asking of them. People moving through divorce, heartbreak, the particular grief that comes with the end of something that mattered.
I know what it feels like to be in those places. Divorce. Coparenting. The work of finding your way back to yourself when the ground shifts under you. That lived experience isn't my credential — but it is part of what equips me to sit across from someone in the middle of it without flinching. I know what it takes to navigate it. I know that every single one of us is going to need something different — something specific to where we are and what we're carrying.
What also equips me is the work I've done to make sure I'm not just drawing from my own experience. Every course, every module, every line of questioning in this practice is informed by research and frameworks from some of the most important minds in attachment theory, emotional intelligence, self-compassion, and family systems work — Judith Wallerstein, John &Julie Gottman, Gabor Maté, Nicole LePera, Gordon Neufeld, Brené Brown, among others. I've done this work myself. I continue to do it. And I continue to build on it.
Over the next two years I'll be completing Gottman Level 1 training and a focused series of NICABM-accredited continuing education courses — including How to Work with Trauma That Can't be Verbalized with Peter Levine, The Neurobiology of Attachment, How to Work with a Client's Emotional Triggers, How to Ease the Pain of Trauma-Induced Shame, Helping Clients Undo Patterns of Pleasing and Appeasing, and Work with the Impact of Trauma on Your Client's Relationships. That ongoing learning is intentional — it's part of how I make sure I'm equipped to receive the people who come to this work.
What this work is not: crisis intervention, couples therapy, or a substitute for mental health treatment. I'm a coach, not a clinician, and I hold that distinction with full honesty. If something surfaces in our work together that falls outside the scope of coaching — something that needs clinical support, a licensed therapist, or a crisis resource — I will name it clearly, directly, and without hesitation. Keeping you safe is part of staying in my lane. And staying in my lane is part of what makes this work trustworthy.
How do you handle confidentiality?
What you bring into our sessions stays there. I don't share your information, your story, or anything you disclose with anyone outside of our work together.
One thing worth knowing: with your knowledge and explicit permission, I record our sessions. Not to archive them — to be fully present with you during them. Active listening is the core of this work, and I won't do it well if I'm splitting my attention between you and a notepad. The recording allows me to go back after our session, listen carefully, and build the session follow-up from a place of genuine attention to what you actually said. Once the follow-up is complete, the recording is deleted. It is never shared. This is always your choice — if you prefer not to be recorded, we don't record.
The exceptions to confidentiality — as with any helping relationship — are situations involving imminent risk of harm to yourself or someone else, reasonable suspicion of abuse or neglect of a child, elder, or dependent adult, or disclosure required by court order or legal process. In those situations I have both an ethical and legal obligation to act. Outside of those circumstances, the container is yours.
A formal Coaching Services Agreement covers all of this in writing before we begin working together — including what coaching is and isn't, confidentiality and its limits, and how session recordings are handled. You'll have the opportunity to read it, ask questions about it, and sign it before our first session.
What happens if something comes up that's beyond the scope of coaching?
The short answer: you will be safe. That is the first commitment this work makes — before any session, before any module, before any question is asked of you.
Mental and emotional safety isn't a feature of this work. It's the foundation of it. From the very first conversation, the goal is for you to feel like you've found a soft, safe place to land. Where anything that comes to mind — any thought, any emotion — is welcome. There's room for it. There's space for it.
And part of holding that space responsibly is knowing its edges.
If something surfaces in our work together that goes beyond what coaching can safely hold — something that needs clinical support, a licensed therapist, psychiatric care, or a crisis resource — I will tell you. Directly, clearly, and without judgment. I won't minimize it, redirect around it, or keep going as though it didn't come up. I will name what I'm seeing, explain why it's beyond the scope of our work together, and help you find the right support — whether that's a referral to a licensed therapist, a mental health resource, or a crisis line.
Staying in my lane isn't a limitation. It's how I make sure you get what you actually need. And knowing when to refer is part of what makes this container trustworthy.
You will be taken care of. That's not a promise I make lightly — it's one the design of this practice is built to keep.
What does working together actually look like?
It starts with a conversation — a free consult where we talk about where you are, what brought you here, and whether this feels like the right fit. From there, if we both feel it makes sense to work together, we'll discuss which offering is the right starting point and what the investment looks like.
Everything after that happens at the pace the work requires. Some sessions crack something open that might need a bit more time to sit with — and we'll always make room for that. Others land somewhere quieter. All of it matters.
When something surfaces in our work together — a pattern, a feeling, a realization — we don't rush to fix it, redirect it, or judge it. We notice it. We pull it out into the middle of the room where we can both see it clearly. That noticing is the practice. What you do with what you notice — that's where the rebuilding begins.
After every session you'll receive a follow-up — a reflection of what you brought, what we covered, and what rose to the surface. Not a transcript. Not homework. An invitation to keep the work alive between sessions.
This is a relationship. It requires honesty — with yourself first, and then with me. Everything else follows from there.
Still have a question?
Bring it to the consult. That's what it's for.
mattp@whatsinyourwaycs.com